Today and yesterday I have felt like a real fraud.

I am so over christmas that it stands to take away the joy of the season for my children, who despite our influence in their lives still believe in it's bounty.

During the day we visited a shopping mall. This for the children was an experience. They rode the escalators, travelators and their ear-drums reverberated with the noise pollution peculiar to the large cities in general. Being in a major city reinforced for the older child the nature of face of consumerism.

Last night we braved the hustle and bustle of a large metropolitan city to catch the annual tradition of seeing the houses in a particular street all aglow. The important part was keeping them safe and staying together - no easy task. One child was on my shoulders and kept putting their hands over or near my eyes, impinging on my ability to see anything including the un-even footpath, tree roots or hazards ahead.

I did not enjoy the 'atmosphere' if there was one. I did not really see the houses with their lights. I did not understand what it was all about, except to speculate that it was an exercise in keeping up with the Jones. Some houses did not have a spare 10cm square area without a bulb.

After that we went to a light sculpture. It was a cone shaped tree, flanked at each 1/4 by a phone box, where one could register their request of santa and upon hanging up the receiver, saw their request climb the tree and be sent off into the sky. There were dozens of bean bags underneath the inside of the tree where people were lying looking up at the top. While I guess I may have found this romantic if it were only the two of us, instead I grabbed for my sun-glasses to overcome the strange glare.

The end of the evening saw us drive by a single house on a main road that exhibited an eclectic taste for all things christmas.

All this to get home about 11pm with 4 tired children, and me even more so, having not slept well of late. I just do not get it.

What is it about traipsing around the streets, among the throng of people, on one particular day or period of the year. What is it with lights? What does it have to do with Christmas?

Oh yeah, that was the other thing...we passed a church that was not lit up and my dad said something to the effect of that being a shame, and I retorted, 'why should they','He (Jesus) was born in October anyway'.

So at the end of all this I really felt like a kill-joy, a fraud, a wolf in sheep's clothing..but fraud describes it best.

I did buy my children something small and practical as gifts because I love them and I thought they would think otherwise if they got nothing. But I still don't 'get' the present-giving.

For example my brother and parents were so generous with us today that I felt like I was less of a person because we had a limit on what we spent on them if at all. In the past 7 or 8 years we have chosen one family member to buy for and the other get token gifts. This year we didn't spend anything on my parents, but instead pledged a full day of helping them sort out their stuff, because they have soooooooo much of it. It just didn't seem right adding to it, and after all what do you get someone who has everything?

Ba humbug, I feel like Scrooge. What should I do? Should I just go with the flow and buy big gifts to supposedly show another how much I love and value them? Or do we run away to some remote location for the week leading up to the big day and drive home when it is over?

Why does it seem that I am the only one that does not 'get it' while EVERYONE else in society doesn't seem to bat an eyelid at it?

If we as a society work diligently in every other area of life and neglect the family, it would be analogous to straightening the deckchairs on the Titanic.

Stephen R Covey

I am a strong advocate of delaying formal mathematical instruction until after a child is 10 years or so. That is not to say that we don't 'do' anything but that life itself is rich with teachable moments like "would you like half a biscuit or a whole biscuit?", "if we want to double this recipe, how much milk do we need?", "so you've got 2 feet, Martha has 2 feet - that's 4 feet, and Johnny's 2 feet make 6 feet, my, my, what a lot of shoes we need" etc

What I do keep on hand for when our children want to 'do math' is a South African workbook series called "Numbers Fun". It is out of print as far as I know, but the general concepts that it has in it are numbers from 0-9 first, then progressing in chunks up to 1000. The many varied worksheet type activities are repetitive of concepts in an interesting way and also allow the child to color pages in if the are so inclined. You will probably find something like this at your local bookseller.

We have plenty of items that can be used for counting, packs of cards, dice, games etc.

A favourite card game has to be SET, as it is easy to play for any age, and we have also found that it transcends language barriers if we have a foreign guest. The basic premise is that you see and claim sets of 3 cards that either have one variable in difference or 3 variables in difference. Colour, shape, shading and number of items.

What I like about this game is that it encourages you to look at simple things in detail and inadvertently causes you to think about same and different.

Our next resource that I would still buy if I had to do it all over again is a living book approach to Math in two volumes "Mathematicians are People too". This set has a short snappy chapter introducing famous mathematicians throughout history and the concepts they discovered. I would also recommend this for the burn-out parent 'teaching math' or the child who has that glazed over look and needs to take a break from formal lessons.

During these preparatory years I find it useful to use Saxon's K-4 scope and sequence chart to check up on where each child is at with their understanding and exposure to fundamental maths. I take myself aside and go down the list noting if their are any gaps, where the child is currently at, and what I could focus on developing in them given a teachable moment.

From there when we think our child is ready to assume a more formal approach we use the Saxon placement tests to make sure that starting with 54 is right for where our child is at.

Our formal math programme has happened more as a result of serendipity than anything else. While I was content with sticking to the homeschool stalwart of Saxon all the way through, I had the opportunity to pick up a bulk lot of materials that included Math books from the Scott Foresman University of Chicago Project - Transition, Algebra & Geometry.

These books are NOT the latest version, but in their favour, are more aesthetically appealing to my mind than the updated versions and blend in many real life equations.

I guess what I am trying to highlight is that maths is not an area that changes monumentally, so I don't think it matters that you are using a particular brand or the newest book out.

Some find Saxon suits them to a T and others find it too repetitive. In fact I almost forgot to mention that when we started our first child on 54, I went through the entire book and decided which chapters she was to do, and skipped the rest - approx 40-50% of it. This, at the time, totally challenged my 'beginning-to-end' rigidity of using textbooks. Other families do odd numbers in one chapter and even numbers the next, and some children need all the repetition they can get - whatever works for your child.

In any subject I now embrace the maxim that TEXTBOOKS SERVE US, THEY ARE NOT OUR MASTER.

Later on for advanced mathematics I also have materials for trigonometry and physics etc to extend any child that shows a mathematical bent, otherwise each will also work through a series of local books focusing on real life maths for New Zealanders - for what good is it if we don't know how to use it.

For economics - another living book - Life on Paradise Island.

So I hope this gives you some food for thought as you look at how maths fits into your home school 12-year plan.