What is poverty to you? Is it going without a hamburger at McDonald's, or having to wait until your next monthly pay-check to by some more shoes? Have you ever fielded the question from one of your children 'are we poor?' and your first response is 'well we don't earn as much as other people'? Why is it that we equate poverty with what money we have or do not have? And when is it all about us? As a recovering-poverty-mentality-individual I know that this mindset doesn't give me freedom. I grew up in a household where the answer to the question 'Where did you get that from?' was 'Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies.' was the common retort and the shaky foundation of my understanding about how household finances worked. Things just appeared. No mention was even made to man-hours, income, expenditure, fixed commitments and flexible spending.

Contrast that with a child who doesn't know what having shoes on their feet is, let along a new collection of classical books and you gain some perspective.

And to all those people who say that 'money doesn't buy you happiness' - hogwash! How can one be content with little when they have little.

Yes, you can be content with less when you have more, and I embrace the movement to simplicity, but don't you think it would be impossible to be grateful for not having something that you need.

And perhaps this is where the crunch comes. Many of us have what we need, if we are really honest with ourselves, but before we indulge in the things we want, could spare a thought of meeting the poverty in this world.

No, we don't all have to go on building projects to third world countries or sponsor orphans, although these things do also help. What about meeting the poverty in our own countries, in our own cities and in our own neighbourhoods.

Whether we realise it or not, poverty is everywhere but it has different guises.

For some it is not having petrol to go to visit a sick relative, others - no firewood, or clothes that are in tatters (and you just thought people enjoyed dressing like that?). For others their lack is company, or the ability to integrate into society.

Poverty in its purest form is the lacking of something.

When we take a step to providing for someone's lack then we are being like Jesus "supplying all their needs according to his riches" - or walking the talk as other would say.

So what does this look like: volunteering your children to visit older folks, giving of the abundance of your vegetable garden when you can, passing on your pre-loved clothes to the neighbour's children, lending out your lawnmower or other appliances (that just sit there year-round otherwise).

Thinking like this can help lift you out of your selfish mindset and leads you to appreciate what you do have. It shows your children that things don't 'just appear' or 'just happen' - that it takes people. People who trade their time, talents and resources to make things happen for others.

How can you provide for someones poverty today? Or perhaps if you can't answer this question, simply be prepared to open your own eyes and begin looking for this new definition of poverty around you.

Postscript: Blog Action Day have this post that gives you even more ideas on what you can do.

Well today was my second and final call with Mike, albeit that he was some place different and at another number.

In amidst all the personal reflection and direction, making an international phone call still rates up there with my least familiar experiences! You can see I am no global C.E.O.

Talking with a life coach is very much like having a sounding board and also someone who will ask those tough questions, that perhaps a good friend would like to but doesn't ?!

For me the life coaching was the 'push' that I needed to get me through the bottle-neck to enter the next phase of my (God) journey - living in fulfillment and being true to my authentic self. Or I hope it is!

Mike challenged me to think about what my life would be like if Onyx never changed. Would we divorce? Is it that I have desired for his success or expected his success? What do I need to do to be financially free?

Inadvertently Mike was the person with whom I spoke a day or two before my next adventure presented itself. He helped me look at it from another perspective that lessened the ever-raging guilt that I have about being selfish or hurting others.

In between our first conversation and this, I have felt like there have been synapses firing in my brain that were previously muted by religious thinking, gender conditioning; and re-igniting them feels like walking a fine line between christian and secular teaching.

Would a christian bring up divorce? Would a christian ask what you needed to be fulfilled? I'd think that the off pat answer to both of these is to hide them both behind a warped interpretation of christian marriage that does little for continuing to cultivate individuals, preferring to blur the husband and wife concerned into a gelatinous 'you'.

"I" is not often taught in churches instead it is "Jesus first, yourself last and others in between".

So okay, to a certain extent this is also true, but what about balance? What about there still being a "you"? What about living that life of abundance, which to each person looks different.

And that is key...as unique as we are designed, our needs are different and I believe God wants for each of us to live that life described in Jeremiah that says:

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

I don't know if this verse is written with "you" being individual, plural or simply corporate, but I still interpret it as meaning that He gives me, plans that I will recognise as bringing good things into my life - adding to it, and that it is His intention that I am in no way harmed etc.

How many christian's are harmed in their marriage, perhaps not by violence, but by being unequally yoked?

My thinking is therefore changing from the mindset that when a couple marry, they loose themselves in the 'institution of marriage', and that their commitment means that individualism is a blurry thing of the past. God talks about the transformation that water and spirit baptism bring. He does not say that we are to be transformed by marriage into something 'new'. We remain the same one-of-a-kind master-crafted talented person BM (before marriage).

I know that day-to-day life can drain us of our 'get up and go' to pursue our interests of what delights us and adds beauty and character to our lives, as before we wed, but I would sincerely hope that we each have a respite, that feeds our soul. If not huge plans, at least frequently.



I see this metamorphosis in thinking like that of leaving traditional church to find freedom, or the traditional modern education system to home school. It is requiring that I dissect all that I have heard, read and watched in light of what the bible says.

Like the Ogre in Shrek who says he is like an onion skin - having layers, I too feel as if I am peeling off this old skin little by little.

It is an amazing feeling of personal growth that I can not attribute has happened voluminously in my life under the influence of church.

Once again, thanks Mike! You and Laura must have a fabulous life!

I have been receiving a newsletter from Outside Edge Coaching for a few months now, a life coaching business run by Mike and Laura Ege.  They are a couple who are also learning to 'be', and learning to love their heavenly father anew, outside organised religion.  If you are curious, simply sign up for their "7 Radical Freedoms" series as I did.

About 3 weeks ago they had a light-hearted offer/competition of a months worth of life coaching, for those who had read through the newsletter that far, and would like to email them the reasons why you would like it.

I had considered writing in when I first got the email but I put it off until the day before 'closing' and within 24 hours received the news that I had received 2 weeks life coaching - a runner up prize!

I was excited but still reserved, as I knew not what lay before me but it was an opportunity that I didn't want to miss out on so that overrode my fear!  I had some concern about communicating with Mike, being that he is a guy and all!   So after time zones and schedules were sorted out, I took the leap and gave him a call.

It was really interesting.  He was right that the 1/2 hour passes by so quickly.  I didn't have any qualms talking to him.  He was really gentle, and did not offend!  Its such a short amount of time though to keep on task.  There were many rabbit holes we could have gone down. There was much more I could have said to justify myself or background, but I tried to really focus on what he was saying - like an aphid sucking the life out of a rosebud.

As I said in the previous post I am tired of being limited, of feeling unfulfilled, of my happiness being dependent upon another person. So thats what we talked about.

There were some things that he said that on the surface didn't 'gel' with me but after consideration it was a case of opening myself up to another view of the situation I am in, of using Mike's conversation, questions and comments as a sounding board to refine my perspective and position.  Yes, I know that sounds a little general, but what I am trying to say is that he re-inforced what I had been discovering for myself over the last month or so.

He threw me a curve ball or two and a week later I am still mulling these over.  I feel like a child who has not done their homework as I haven't come up with the 'right' answer.

I have emailed him again since (as unlimited emails are included in their coaching packages) and then had sincere pangs about it for the last few days.  Lo and behold, Mike came back to me today and totally threw me again, backing me 100%.  I am simply not used to this.

I have never met a christian guy like him (I don't mean in a crush-like sense rather a pastoral sense) and I can only assume what makes him different is that he lives in the real world, instead of being so 'heavenly bound he's not earthly good'  like many well-intentioned christian 'counsellors' and 'church leaders' etc.

I can see that where I am at presently is part of the journey to freedom in Christ, of  'living life more abundantly', albeit an un-natural and selfish feeling for me.

I have one more phone call to book in for, but sort of wish that I could check in with Mike, say once per month, especially until I feel that I am living more authentically, that I am the me I was meant to be.