A dear homeschooling mum/ friend who I get together with has been told that she has 3 months to live.

I knew she had bowel cancer and that she was trying to fight it naturally by changing her diet and using enemas etc. I know that lately she has been in hospital with a suspected tumour on her skull which has turned out to be benign. This week, she was thought to have had a mini stroke in her face which she didn't, but instead had her sinus flare up.

She is a solo mum with a 13 year old daughter and a 7 year old foster son.

As callous as it sounds I am not worried about her foster son, as I know the organisation he is with.

I am first and foremost really sad that I may loose a friend who has opened up her home, her life and mostly her acceptance of me this year; and this most probably while I am not here.

Secondly I am concerned about her daughter, who has just entered womanhood.

She goes to her father's in another town far away each school holidays. He is not supportive of homeschooling.

Last time she was up there he 1) took her to buy a bra and wanted to see it on her 2) told her that the only 2 jobs she could do was be a gardener or a rubbish truck worker. With a father like that who needs enemies.

My girlfriends parents are in their 80's (she was a change of life baby). So I imagine the daughter will go and stay with them, but who will be looking after whom?

And when they pass will the father fight for custody as he even threatened to do this year?

What can be done to provide for her daughter's familial needs and not compromise her emotional ones?

I don't think this woman has a legal will, as it came up in conversation before. Is there anything that she can do to give her the peace that her daughter will be looked after?

Then the conundrum is what will she think of me bringing this up when I have been willing for her to live?