This week I have been pondering the depth of relationships that we (in general) tend to have in our modern day society.

Is a friendship today the same as one of yesteryear?

How do we define friendships?

Are our expectations different?




You hear children emphatically state "you're not my friend" one moment and the next they couldn't discredit the other child any more.

And while we may chuckle to ourselves and attribute that fickleness to the younger generation I wonder if it is not also true of our relationships today.

With the advent of mobile phones and text messaging do we use the superficial day-to-day communications as an indication of the relationship behind them? Do relationships parallel the pace of society and suffer too as many other areas of our lives do?

Do we expect instant replies (and gratification) and when we don't get them read too much into it?



Are friendships today less deep? Are they just surface level?




Lets play out a scenario here to help illustrate what I am getting at.....

You arrange with a girlfriend via text during work hours to meet for a coffee and movie, the next evening. You go home that day, frantically texting her and other friends. Get up go to work the next day, don't hear from the friend all day, who also doesn't show for the movie.

• Do you think she has snubbed you and what right does she have to stand you up?



• Do you send her a text demanding what has happened?



• Do you still watch the movie without her?



• Do you simply go home and forget about it all?

or do you drop everything and shoot around to her home to find out?




From what I have observed many teens, twenties and somethings fall into the former category more often than the later.

Instant 'communications' seem therefore a selfish tool, rather than a selfless one.

Sure this is not always the case, and every invention has its good or bad points, I know, but think for a moment what your relationships would be like without a cellphone. Could you go for a day without using your cell, or for a week without whipping it out to 'just do something' that is so urgent you are doing it in the middle of a conversation with someone else or a dinner out at a restaurant?

What would happen to your relationships then? How would you cultivate them? Would you talk face to face? Would you drive the extra few miles out of your way to visit someone? Would you actually get to laugh in another's company instead of alone at a lcd screen?

I can already hear the nay-sayers, who think I have gone off my rocker, and perhaps this thought isn't for them then. Perhaps they are happy with the fibre of their friendships - and good on them.

For those who are nodding their head in agreement I wish for you greater depth in your relationships, and the richness that comes from knowing that whether you have seen someone just yesterday, last week, or 18 months ago - you are still friends.