Tonight in an attempt to start re-connecting as a family, and also as an opportunity to invite a father and son to spend time with us, we planned a movie night. Nothing fancy mind you....dinner and a movie.

I'd recently placed an order with CBD and as part of that bought 'Flywheel' and 'Facing the Giants'. I'd really wanted to get 'Fireproof' but it wasn't out yet so settled for "The Love Dare' book.

Anyway back to the movie - while Facing the Giants was perhaps the better story for the males in the group, Flywheel had subtitles in German, and that mattered, so it won, heads up.

Compared to the 'professional' films and judging by the dvd jacket I guess I was expecting a 'perfect' production but cutting it some slack I was still able to appreciate the story.

So here I am now sitting and thinking, and thinking some more.

• Do situations always work out this positive and perfect?
• Will God do for us, in our situation, what he did for Jay?
• Why does God have the reputation for intervening at the 11th hour?
• and the question to top all questions...what is the moral for me?

Do you do that? Watch a movie, whether it a drama, a chick flick or a child's story and suck the juices out - cogitating over the message?

I admit that I can not not do that.

I can't not do it with movies, and I don't pick up books that do not have a pay-off. I don't read much fiction, preferring to use the little time I have to add value to my life.

Thats perhaps a good maxim for why we gave up watching tv several years ago - 'does it add value to my life?' Yes, I could say that it did when programmes about home improvements or child-raising was concerned but really 'how much value' was that adding and 'how relevant was it to our home and our family'?

So what questions did Flywheel raise for me specifically?

The first is what is this saying to my husband about his business. The part that relates here is when Jay talks about wanting to finish well, not wanting to be forced to foreclose. DH presently has a major client that thinks he is having them on about the problems at their site, and that they are not caused by him. If we loose the client the business could be forced to close. Onyx has wanted to change the direction of the business for a while too. And in the middle of all this we have been looking at selling and what that would mean.

The second area that I think I need to apply the meaning of this story to is.... Germany. So here are my thoughts as I type 'on the fly'. Going looks like not such a good idea. Perhaps it is akin to me deceiving myself that it has more value or is the only way to achieve the goals I have for wanting to live there?

Perhaps it is my time to give it up...to say to God that I can not do this, that it is His dream (like Jay told God it was his business). Perhaps I need to concentrate on putting my time and effort into my husband and family.

The similarities end as I think about the time frame that Jay had to come up with the goods. Our situation has been that we had aimed at several projected dates over the last two years and it seems as if it has been more of trying to exercise faith and be prepared for what we thought God was going to do that something we would 'miss' or an appointment we would break.

Where to now. Hmmm...wish I knew. Do I say 'right Germany is off'? Or do I say 'God you know my desire, show me your cards?' - well actually I have said things similar to that - after all the entire point of going is due to the insatiable desire within me - didn't He put that there?

Its not as if we have been trying to run in the opposite direction like Jonah.

Well thats enough thinking for one day! We will see what happens next. The movie did however renew my faith that God is more involved with my life so now that "Que sera, sera" attitude is less fatalistic and more faith-filled that He will actually come through.